It's really hard letting go, particularly since this has been my life for the last six and a half years.
It hasn't really hit me yet and it will probably hit me when I least expect it.
I still remember when I started here. I was so shy - I didn't talk much, hated picking up the phone to clients and never swore. I couldn't be so different to what I was before - now I'm a totally angry bitch who swears every 5 minutes and isn't afraid of telling people what I think.
Not sure if that's a good thing or not, but one thing that this place has taught me is to be more confident and have a greater belief in myself.
The day is going to be so nice. It's days like this, when the sun is out, and the sky is a glorious blue that I wish I had someone to share it with. Of course I try not to let it show, but it's there.
Love is amazing, and dreamlike and belongs in pages of books and on movie screens, but at the same time it's cruel and hard and should stay on the pages and not leap out into reality if it's only going to end in heartache and hardship. Does anyone ever keep love, or is it the kind of thing that dulls with time and instead of love it’s just dirty dishes in the kitchen sink, and fights over him playing golf every weekend and never helping around the house?
Welcome to Cynicalville, population: Riss.
I wish I could sail through life without much thought and without any trouble, and just smile and be 'that' kind of happy.
It seems like a lifetime ago that I wrote that. 6 years to be exact.
I have looked for love to be the kind of thing where you’re not pulling the strings in a dream and therefore you know it exists and someone cares about you.
I’m still finding it hard to believe that I am that kind of happy.
Things haven't changed much since my last entry – work is still relentless but for some strange and twisted reason I don’t mind slaving away. Perhaps it's because I actually enjoy what I do and the people I work with.
It's now a little over 6 months since Mark and I got engaged. I realised that I haven’t documented how the engagement went down, but I honestly can't remember much of what happened other than that we were on top of a mountain in Japan, I was wearing big, white fluffy ear muffs and there was crying. Lots and lots of crying.
We've spent the last 6 months fielding questions from everyone of when the big date is, we didn't have an answer since we didn’t know what we were going to do. But a few weeks ago we decided that we're going to aim for March 2009, which leaves very little time to plan. Why March? A number of factors but all will be revealed in due time. (And no, I am not pregnant).
3 weeks into the planning phase and I am so over it. I am overwhelmed and just drained by it all. It is fun I guess, but given that I spend most of my day at work planning and organising, the last thing I want to do when I get home is find the energy to plan some more.
People have said to consider hiring a wedding planner, which sounds like a logical solution, but given my anal retentiveness it would probably just make things more stressful since I'd have to double check and approve all the things that are being planned by the planner. I've always been the type of person who liked doing things myself and MY WAY.
In these 3 weeks, I've discovered a few things.
1. Wedding receptions are a rip off. RIP. OFF. I can't believe how much venues expect people to pay. Given this is meant to be the most amazing day of my life, I don’t want it to signal the start of me going into financial ruin just so I can have a decent party with my loved ones. $180 for a 3 course meal and drinks? Screw that. 2. Wedding dresses all look the same. Seriously, after around 1 hour of looking through a magazine or viewing a website they all blur and just look like white, floaty piece of material with the occasional sparkly bits. It's just so traumatic trying to find the 'perfect' dress – how will I know that the dress I pick will be the one? How do I know that after I find one that I like that another one won’t come along and scream 'pick me'? Slinky, floating, pouffy, lacey, sparkly, short or long? The choices are enough to drive you mental. I can see why some people get a bad case of the crazies. 3. Guests lists aren't very nice. The politics involved about who to invite and who to 'cut' from the elusive list are a pain. Do we invite partners of gopod friends that we don't really know? Do we not invite friends to make way for family members or family acquaintances we don’t know just to appease our parents? How are you expected to have the most amazing day of your life when you don't know most of the people there? 4. Sales assistants become even pushier. I don't like SA's at the best of times, so when I go dress shopping and am forced to strip down to my undies whilst I wait for a pushy SA to force me into a gown and gush about how 'perfect' and 'gorgeous' it looks on me when I clearly can see in the mirror I look like a fatty boombalada wrapped in silk, lace and padding, I can't help but think that online shopping is the best thing invented ever. Also, I don’t appreciate comments like "Wow, that veil will make your day even more special!" – how the fuck will a veil make my day better than it already will be, given that I'm promising forever with the love of my life? I'm pretty sure a piece of netting which costs $5 to produce but has a price tag of a few hundred will not reduce my happiness or increase amount of specialness.
Like I said, am overwhelmed and drained, and can already see myself descending into the depths of a psycho Bridezilla. Perhaps when we lock down a venue for our reception and an actual date, things will be less stressful and I can actually enjoy the planning stages – bring on the cake tasting, the menu tasting, the shoe shopping and honeymoon planning. It's ok if I buy multiple pairs of shoes right? Every girl needs a backup pair...or two.
Work has been relentless. R.E.L.E.N.T.L.E.S.S. I was promoted again and it's been non-stop ever since. Despite the workload it has been exciting (if by exciting you enjoy dealing with insane requests and working til all hours of the night) - my team is fantastic and we've grown into one little happy family as we start our world domination.
Pranks are so hot right now. Wrapping computers, phones and keyboards up with bubble wrap, putting sticky tape at the bottom of optical mice, switching desks around so everything is opposite and holding other people's food ransom are some of the things keeping us sane.
Soju is evil. I am never drinking that shit ever again. Never. Ever. EVER. Unless of course I feel like passing out whilst vomiting on the toilet again, then maybe I'd reconsider.
Friday brownies and champagne are a great pick me up.
Note to self: next time you walk on the street after it rains make sure you walk away from the gutter to avoid being splashed by oncoming traffic.
Note to self #2: avoid walking under monorail tracks after or during rain, you will only get wet again. When will you learn?
I can't believe so many people were played, including myself and all of my friends who also work in advertising and marketing.
Gah!
We were all sucked in because we were all looking through YouTube for wedding stuff and stumbled across it. Obviously we passed it on to everyone we knew because the woman in it was completely mental.
Probably one of the most successful viral campaigns in the last year or so.
Last week my promotion was officially annouced. It's a bit strange as I am doing basically what I was doing before but with a new title and 3 people to manage.
Everyone says to delegate, delegate, delegate. But I find it hard to let go, especially when I've very pedantic about things and like things done my way.
Oh well, they're there to make my life easier and given the 7th circle of hell that I was in during the last few months of last year I should really start letting go.
My good friend Evita is back from China for a month for the Christmas and New Year period. She's been working over there for almost 2 years now and last night reminded me how much I miss her.
We used to have a ritual of weekly dinners at the Sushi Train next to George St. Cinema's and instead of carrying on with our cheap (but ever so yummy) tradition, I decided to take her to Kobe Jones on King St. Wharf.
Even though she got slightly tipsy after a few sips of her cocktail it was a great night. I had forgotten how much alike we are. We talk about being old (she just turned 26 and I turn 26 in March. Eeek!). She told me how she wants me to start having babies so she can have something to play with, and how I need to make sure that I get married when she is in the country so she can plan my hens night and kitchen tea...I guess it's always good to have a friend who is prepared? Heh.
The food was to die for, we were both practically licking the plates to make sure we got every last piece. However by the end of dinner my skirt felt 2 sizes too tight and she needed to un-do the button of her pants. Both of us are totally classy ladies.
Kobe Jones Number One Special Crab Salad with avocado wrapped in snapper and baked with KJ's cream sauce
Volcano Roll Oven baked scallops layered on top of KJ California roll with sesame seeds and shallot sprinkle
Sizziling Sashimi Carpaccio Scallop sliced thinly, drizzled with an infused olive oil
Calamari Fritto Kobe Jones Style Calamari Panko with a California twist
Anko Green Tea cream brulee
Yokan Chocolate sabayon on a hazelnut biscuit with a vanilla anglaise
Given the many late nights I've had at work I've become accustomed to taking a taxi home. The trips home are always filled with entertainment thanks to the many eccentric drivers; however the one I had last night takes the cake.
Last night was slightly more disturbing than usual as the cab driver was having a very heated argument with his wife whilst on this mobile phone. Ordinarily I wouldn't have minded, but the fact that he was driving while holding his mobile phone in the other hand was a bit concerning. Especially as we were going about 80km/h and he was veering into adjoining lanes whilst yelling in Arabic to someone on the other end of the phone. They must have hung up on him several times because he was mid conversation and then he'd stop and groan.
This carried on for the majority of the trip, he eventually hung up and proceeded to rant and rave to me about how his wife was the one on the phone, and that marriage is the worst thing you could even do to yourself. He went on and on about how it's better to be free and that he's only been married for 2 years and it's been the worst 2 years of his life.
And to make matters worse he started crying due to the sappy songs being played on the radio, Mix 106.5 Love Song Dedications. He turned it up so loud when "My heart will go on" started and then I saw the tears when Meatloaf's "It's all coming back to me now" started.
I felt sorry for the guy. I hope he works things out with his wife. And if not, find happiness elsewhere. It was very strange seeing a complete stranger cry while listening to the radio.
Last Friday I indulged my inner teeny bopper by seeing John Mayer live at the Enmore Theatre. He was absolutely amazing. We found ourselves right at the front, and despite need to pee for around 2 hours and putting up with the massive posse of screaming teenagers around us - we were treated to an awesome show.
John Mayer, you still rock my world.
I'm quite tipsy writing this as it's the afternoon of the Melbourne Cup and we've been drinking since 12:30, so if you want to read a more eloquent entry read my other half's more comprehensive post.
* Work has been incredibly busy which has left me exhausted and exhilarated at the same time. The 15 hour days are taking its toll but it comes with the territory.
* I was given a brand spanking new Nokia N73 from a client – it's not often I get freebies so was pleasantly surprised when I found it on my desk with a thank you note. I like how it has an inbuilt application that lets me post pictures I've taken directly to my Flickr account.
* We had a hypnotist come into work the other week, one of my workmates was hypnotised to act like a lap dancer – only he was a guy and was told to find another guy in the audience to lap dance on. I filmed this on my new phone and am itching to post it onto You Tube but I don't want to be mean...
* I went to the Dashboard Confessional concert last week and I truly felt my age. I also realised how clone like they were all – I saw enough black footless tights, keds and denim skirts to last me a lifetime. If anyone ever sees me in footless tights please shoot me.
* Also I just want to say a big FUCK YOU to the security guards at The Horden Pavilion. After the concert it was absolutely pouring down with rain – everyone was waiting under the rafters just outside the Horden for the rain to ease because they did not want to get wet. However, despite the torrential rain and lightning overhead, the security guards told everyone to move off. And they didn't do this in a polite way, they were rather rude about it and it pissed me off. It made me think that if the majority of the crowd was in the 25-40 year old age bracket they'd let them stay, but because the majority of the crowd was aged 16-25 they basically treated everyone like shit. I have video evidence of the security guard pushing and then punching a boy who was probably 16 or 17. Disgusting.
* Nothing beats a lazy weekend doing absolutely nothing. Snuggling in bed, getting up at 2pm and just watching movies is my ideal way to spend a rainy day. If only there were more like them.
